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Love Toasts

Love is an insane desire on the part of a chump to pay a woman's board-bill for life.

MR. SLIMPURSE—"But why do you insist that our daughter should marry a man whom she does not like? You married for love, didn't you?"

MRS. SLIMPURSE—"Yes; but that is no reason why I should let our daughter make the same blunder."

MAUDE—"Jack is telling around that you are worth your weight in gold."

ETHEL—"The foolish boy. Who is he telling it to?"

MAUDE—"His creditors."

RICH MAN—"Would you love my daughter just as much if she had no money?"

SUITOR—"Why, certainly!"

RICH MAN—"That's sufficient. I don't want any idiots in this family."

'Tis better to have lived and loved

Than never to have lived at all.


May we have those in our arms that we love in our hearts.

Here's to love, the only fire against which there is no insurance.

Here's to those that I love;

Here's to those who love me;

Here's to those who love those that I love.

Here's to those who love those who love me.

It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.—Thackeray.

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure,

Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!

* * * * * * * * *

Endless torments dwell about thee:

Yet who would live, and live without thee!


O, love, love, love!

Love is like a dizziness;

It winna let a poor body

Gang about his biziness!


Let the man who does not wish to be idle, fall in love.—Ovid.

Title: Toaster's Handbook Jokes, Stories, and Quotations Author: Peggy Edmund and Harold W. Williams, compilers Release Date: May 26, 2004 Language: English